I'm turning it into an office.
In order to do that we needed to clear it out. I got all these great frames to put pictures in and make a collage out of once we got married. Then we signed the lease and paid a security deposit and I freaked out about putting holes in the walls.
So I put it off for over 5 months (yes, we just celebrated our 5 mo. anniversary. time flies). I was terrified. I know it sounds silly but I would pick up the frames, obsess over them, clean them and then put them away. I had such anxiety about finding the right pictures, arranging them and hanging them so they were even. So I just didn't.
Until this week.
John helped me with this project. We traced the size of the frames on white wrapping paper and then arranged how we wanted them on the wall above the couch.
However, we didn't have any tape. So we improvised. The first week we were married John and I were unpacking stuff when I cut myself on our knives. John rushed out to get bandaids. He came back with a box of 500.
So we used bandaids to tape up the wrapping paper.
I was so excited. We got on Shutterfly and ordered some pictures. It was kind of stressful trying to figure out sizes we needed for the frames but we kept pressing forward.
Withing just a few days the pictures arrived and I started filling the frames. Then I bought the nails and picked up the hammer. I think I had an anxiety attack when I made the first hole. I hung the frame, stepped back and saw it was crooked. I made six more holes all around the same spot until I got it right. My anxiety started to melt away. I put up the next frame and the next and started feeling...good!
I know I may sound a little dramatic to some. Perhaps you are a DIY Queen and you're going to laugh at my pathetic wall. But I am not a domestic goddess or super confident in my abilities in general.
Maybe you are afraid to finally paint that one wall red.
Or maybe you're afraid to buy that eccentric chandelier.
Maybe it's a recipe you think you can't cook, a new hobby you think you can't do.
Maybe you don't want to to tap into that artist within because you are afraid that failing means you aren't perfect.
Do the thing that scares you. Nail a hole in the wall. Put up beautiful memories of your families all over your walls. Give your home life and love and in the process give yourself grace.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson